Midnight 12:21am tired after a long day but badly want to write down my thoughts which are haunting me to be written and told....
I don't know were to start but I have to start somewhere . I don't know whether my words are inspiring but if my words will help someone , I will be the most happiest person . I would like to give out some life tips which I understood from the pre-marriage course,my life and from my friends and family.
Off late, I am hearing of more and more divorces! It is really scary to think about those families moreover the kids who suffer the most. But no one is bothered about them. Every week I hear atleast one divorce story...
Why is this happening ? Wonder why "Divorce" is becoming so common?
Why husband and wife gets bored of each other soo easily?
What is the real issue? Who has the problem?
Who is the problem?
For all those questions spouses tend to put their partner or the partners family responsible.....right?
I really feel that the real issue is the Lack of Communication... Or to be precise Misunderstanding...
Why do Misunderstandings happen?
It happens when we start assuming about your partners actions or when a third person involves in your family problems/arguments.
Also these days both partners are independent and employed. They don't have time to spend for each other. They have enough money to spend but no time.
Some tips that might help family life.
- Don't work after office hours.. Spend time with your partner and kids.
- Have lots of conversation .....Talk talk talk...Even the silliest of jokes, share it.Listen to your partner. Conversing can be really fun too.
- No more assuming... Just ask your partner... Clarify your thoughts/doubts.
- No more secrets... Open up yourself to your partner. Whatever it may be financial , health,every single thing ,share it....U guys should be a team... Don't laugh at your partner when he/she shares some secrets, even if it's silly. He/she should be your best friend..
- No Egos... Share your positives and negatives.
- Share interests- Some of your partner's interests won't be interesting to u but have some patience to enjoy ur partner's interests too. Even if you don't like something or you get irritated while involving in your partners's interests just let your partner know how you feel about it in a good way.
- Don't say NO abruptly to your partner's requests or opinions. Have a discussion about it and decide. Think a lot before you say NO.
- Dont force your partner to like or dislike anything.
- Don't restrict/control your partner.. Don't be a control freak. When you restrict your partner from doing something , he/she will just start hiding things that you don't like him/her getting involved. Just let him/her know why you restrict and try to come to an agreement by avoiding those things or by limiting it.If he/she is limiting or avoiding something's which he/she likes then ,that's only because he/she likes you and wants you to be happy ,appreciate those actions and don't think that's because he/she is weak.
- When you have a fight/ heated argument don't hurt your partner or call bad words.
- Don't let anybody else involve in your fight..
- During fights make sincere effort to hear and understand what your partner is arguing about. Give it some thought before you oppose.
- Make efforts to solve your fight at least within an hour or at least dont wait for sunset.
- Don't sleep with anger.
- After fight don't sleep in separate rooms.
- Don't let your kids see u fight.
- Don't let your parents or relatives makes decisions for you or your partner. Take opinions since they are older and have more life experiences but the final word/ decision should from you and your partner.
- Always try to go to bed at the same time.
- Don't blame your partner for any mistakes/problem which happend unexpectedly . Support your partner and face the mistake/problem together and solve it. By blaming or putting him/her responsible for the issue will not solve it. Mistakes happen. It can happen to you too..
- Life is not a bed of Roses, Life is about making Adjustments and Sacrifices for good. Don't compare your life with the lives of your friends or relatives .. They might be living happily, but you have to understand how they have achieved it. Human beings are different in all aspects, Everyone has goods and bads, nobody is perfect. Life is not easy.So be ready for adjustments, that's what makes Married life perfect.
To Parents and Relatives
Please don't interfere in your child's family matters unless they ask you to. Even if they ask, please don't comment without understanding the real issue. Let them figure it out themselves .
Parents tend to support their own kids during the fight and says supportive comments and that will cause big issues in family life.
Parents , please don't make decisions for your kids after they are married!
Mommies and Daddies please don't feel that your sons and daughters are not in your control anymore and show anger towards your son/daughters spouse. You were once in the same situation and your parents helped you to put up a family and now you must be blessed with a successful marriage, let your kids also enjoy Marital Bliss.
If you had bad experiences with your parents/ relatives interfering in your marriage and had struggles putting up a family in the beginning, accept it as your fate, rather than to pass your anger on to the new girl/boy. So instead of showing the ragging mentality to the new family member, help your children have a good marriage.
All parents are very much possessive when it comes to their kids love. And always want their kids to be happy.. So let your kids build up a family themselves.
All the fights and worries can be melted with a loving smile,a hug and a whisper in your partners ears "I love u".
You might be having money, fame,success etc, so you might be thinking that I am having so many people to love me or to be with me, but think for a minute whether these people truly love you? Or is it for their well being or for their selfishness they pretend to love you? At the end of the day, when you loose your wealth, charm, health etc, will there be anyone to hold your hands, to be beside you , to really love you?
Everybody wants love, without having someone to love you till your last breath, there is no point in living? Being loved by someone is a blessing...
When you have money and fame, people will be around you with endless services that is not because they love you ,that's just for your money or for their needs.
So think about having a person who really needs you... Who is waiting for you...
Who really loves u blindly....who really don't want anything else other than your love...
Being loved by someone is not easy, for that you need to spend time with your partner and earn the love.
Tell him/her that u love him/her and that You cannot survive without him/her.
This can be a great beginning to a happily ever after! Wishing you all the luck in this world!